Pee and Poo
Credit: Metro Vancouver

Metro Vancouver's newest mascots are excitable excrement 

We assess how different people/things and, of course, businesses fared this week

Everyone likes being graded, right?

Well, it's time to find out, as we attempt to put a letter grade on how the week that was affected certain individuals, groups and inanimate objects.

From new mascots to layoffs, here’s what we thought passed the mark (and what didn’t).

Vancouver business owners

Grade: A 

Some prominent figures (like former movie theatre mogul Leonard Schein) took it upon themselves to press city council to alleviate some of the property tax burdens that business owners face, and it actually worked. Hey, this is why they play the games have the meetings.

In the end, a majority of councillors voted to shift 2 percent of property taxes from businesses to residences over the next three years.

It also goes to show what can be expected from a council that votes individually, as opposed to one (like the previous Vancouver group with a majority of Vision Vancouver members) dominated by a single party. In fact, two of the five NPA councillors voted against the motion.

Podcasting

Grade: A– 

The startup dream of being bought by one of the bigs like Microsoft or Apple now applies to podcasts, as Rogers Communications purchased Vancouver’s Pacific Content.

Is there the small risk that the excellent creator (of such shows as Three and a Half Degrees and Fixed That for You) is “selling out” by going to a big corporation? Nah, Rogers has no track record with ruining beloved cultural programming or anything.

Being lazy

Grade: B 

If you missed out on a plum tax return, don’t fret: there’s still a chance you might be able to pick up some extra change. The British Columbia Unclaimed Property Society (and yes, the Harry Potter-style name makes us want to join said society) “allows members of the public to identify whether unclaimed funds are held in their name.”

You do this by simply searching your name on the organization’s directory. That’s it. That’s all you have to do.

If you can’t be bothered to at least roll the dice on this one, I don’t know what to tell you.

Metro Vancouver

Grade: C 

We’re all for educating the public here at BCBusiness, especially in this segment. But there’s a difference between that and tying yourself to two mascots named Pee and Poo.

We’re not kidding.

Part of a campaign to encourage residents to only flush the two things (and toilet paper) down the drain, Pee and Poo were all over Vancouver’s downtown as the campaign launched. Although one supposes that’s not really a change of pace for the city.

We’ll give some credit for the educational campaign, sure. But yeesh.

Parq Casino

Grade: D 

ParqJeff Vinnick

A debt situation shrouded in secrecy? A minority shareholder saying things are taking longer to get “ramped up” than they should? Drake calling the casino the worst business he’s ever witnessed?

All are not good, to be sure, and this week the company’s credit rating was downgraded.
Also not good.

The establishment is, however, operationally profitable (not including debt) according to reports. But that debt has to go first.

As Drake once said: “Strength isn’t always shown in what you can hold on to, sometimes it’s shown in what you can let go of.”

Like, you know, debt.

Hootsuite

Grade: F 

Just so everything is clear, we’re grading the week Hootsuite had. We don’t know why the company laid off more than 100 employees, or what its plans are in the meantime (a Globe and Mail report had the moves related to a failed attempt to sell the company).

Some public direction for the company would be nice, as at this point who knows whether it’s being sold or on the verge of an IPO.

But we do know that, if the shine hadn’t come off on Vancouver’s tech company yet, it sure has now. Not sure there’s a better way to suggest that than by grading it behind Pee and Poo.

The BC Liberals

Grade: F– 

We were going to just stop there, but then Langley East MLA Rich Coleman kinda sorta compared the NDP’s Agricultural Land Commission (ALC) reforms to the Holocaust.

Yeah. 

He apologized, and so did Liberal leader Andrew Wilkinson. But it seems pretty clear this is a desperate party doing desperate things. Like putting up billboards rallying against a carbon tax that um...(checks notes)...his party started