BCBusiness Report Card: Surrey, you can’t be serious

We assess how different people/things and, of course, businesses fared this week.

We assess how different people/things and, of course, businesses fared this week

Oh hey, we’re back. You didn’t think you could get away with not being judged for a week, did you? 

As we seek to subjectively (and accurately) grade the happenings of the week that was, please keep in mind that things might get a little messy. Not two helicopters and a pile of “influencers” messy, mind you. But still.

Oh, and as the title implies you will get the chance to laugh at Greater Vancouver’s favourite punchline. (Sorry, Surrey.)

Here’s what we thought passed the mark this week (and what didn’t).

Drivers

Grade: A 

It was a good week for those regularly behind the wheel in Metro Vancouver. Gas prices dropped to around $1.48 a litre in the region, a far cry from even a month ago, where rates jumped above $1.70 in some areas.

Of course, B.C. premier John Horgan had no discernible effect on the decrease (nor the original rise, contrary to what you may have seen on highway billboards).

The actual reasons for the change are slightly more concerning—as anything remotely involving U.S. President Donald Trump generally is.

Being a tool

Grade: B 

Look, parties are great. And parties that force Transport Canada to look into legalities? Pretty funny stuff.

And though we mostly find the feud between Anmore Mayor John McEwen and the party’s organizer Justin Plosz hilariously petty, it’s hard to be on the latter’s side.

Mostly because he just seems like a massive tool. Sure, go ahead and invite a bunch of Instagram “influencers” to roll through your party. Get some booze and some private helicopters (oh, and hire a convicted drug dealer to pilot it).

But, uh, dude actually told the media that “I’m just a little smarter than the average bear, I guess,” because he toed the line legally. This is the same guy who butchered a 12 Days of Christmas joke on an Instagram post (maybe spell the punchline correctly?) and compared himself to Jordan Belfort from the film Wolf of Wall Street with no apparent idea that the movie was actually satirizing people like him.

Despite all that… kinda have to give him props for pulling it all off. 

Apparently, Plosz is eyeing Belcarra next. Good luck to the residents of that town. You may want to stock up on hair gel and Nutrl Vodka before it’s all gone.

Credit: Surrey RCMP on Twitter

Surrey policing

Grade: B– 

It’s a good idea in theory for the city to replace the RCMP with its own local police force. But of course, there are some problems that have inevitably emerged. For one, the city has to rely on open data for stats on policing the region? That seems not good.

Then there are the ways in which Mayor Doug McCallum’s plan lines up with what he promised in the election campaign.

Overall, this is a good and necessary step for McCallum and the city. But the mayor better get his ducks in a row: Premier John Horgan isn’t necessarily a big fan and could block the move if he felt compelled to.

But less RCMP in the province is probably a good thing. And we’re not just saying that because of a long ago altercation that may or may not have occurred on the UBC highway involving a now-legal plant.

Dodgeball

Grade: C–

It’s been a rough go for the sport after a report written by three B.C. researchers condemned it for being “tantamount to legalized bullying.”

One wonders if we’ll see ban on dodgeball start to emerge in schools in the next few years.

Of course, the backlash against the report was intense, with people weighing in from all over the country essentially by dreaming up different ways to say “grow a pair.”

But being a sports fan has taught us that any time you’re on the same side of an issue as David Staples, you may need to re-evaluate yourself.

Surrey buildings

Grade: D

Yes, it’s probably unfair to slam a brutal grade on all Surrey buildings when there was only one bad apple (that we know of). But the point is more one of “How did this happen?”

This thing was finished in 2013. People lived in a building that wasn’t up to code for years. Oh, and it was 40 storeys high.

Taking transit

Grade: D–

On the same week that drivers get an A, public transit unfortunately garners a rough grade. That’s what happens when you literally get punched while simply trying to reach a destination.

As a side note, anyone currently looking for a band name should really consider “Random Punching Spree.”

Credit: Ben Isitt on Twitter

Victoria councillor Ben Isitt (right) found himself in hot water over a motion this week

Victoria City Council

Grade: F

Maybe, like the Surrey buildings, it’s not fair to throw all of our capital city’s municipal lawmakers into the same dumpster fire. But the group as a whole takes a beating here in the wake of councillor Ben Isitt’s motion to get the Department of National Defence and Veterans Affairs Canada to help chip in for commemorative memorial events like Remembrance Day in the capital.

It’s not the first time an Isitt proposal has rattled cages, and we can live with most of them in all their “screw-the-man” bravado (including, but not limited to: reducing Christmas decorations, banning horse-drawn carriages and cutting back on Canada Day celebrations).

But this is something else. Asking the federal government for funding is one thing, but, um, oh, what’s this? Some new information coming in here… HE PROPOSED IT ON THE 75TH ANNIVERSARY OF D-DAY.