BCBusiness takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province

Address: 5358 Kensington Crescent

Price: $22,800,000

Listing: R2488354

The skinny: Seven-bedroom, eight-bathroom, 12,254-square-foot house on 38,750 square feet in West Vancouver

The bling: “Champagne wishes and caviar dreams really do come true.”

That’s the first sentence of this listing. Apparently, it’s a reference to an old television show. To us, it’s really more reminiscent of the chorus to Kanye West’s “So Appalled”. (You’ll have to click on the link for the lyrics; this is a family site. Ye was a Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous fan, we guess. No surprise there.)

In any case, yeah, this place—apparently nicknamed the “Dragon Palace” some $4 million ago—is definitely crafted from Daenerys Targaryen–type dreams. You have to start at the beginning because even the staircase has what appears to be a small wading pool. Follow that up into an Italian marble-encrusted mansion that is clearly quite new (it was built in 2018) but has been outfitted with what we can only call classy old-school furniture and accessories (a piano, but of course).

The one reminder that we’re actually still in West Vancouver and not a Miami gangster’s fortress (palm trees in the Pacific Northwest, nice touch) is the (very much unimpeded) view of the ocean. Perfect—why would you want a dream to be grounded in any sort of reality, especially these days? 

Man, this sh*t is f*cking ridiculous.

The hidden extras: Hot tub, wine cellar, games room (complete with pool table because duh) and home theatre