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Each week, BCBusiness takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province

Address: 5365 Seaside Place, Caulfield, West Vancouver

Price: $24,998,000

Listing: R2257199

The skinny: Four-bedroom, six-bathroom, 8,445-square-foot house on a 21,600-square-foot private peninsula in West Vancouver.

The bling: It’s good to be prepared for all eventualities. We totally get that. It’s perfectly plausible that one of your wealthy (but not proper rich, like you, of course) friends or acquaintances might just pop by on their way to pick up a pizza at Whole Foods. Yup, we can see them now, about to pass by your private peninsula in their luxury car de jour, when the overwhelming urge to detour overcomes them, and next thing they are ringing your doorbell. Well, not actually your doorbell, because you live on a private peninsula, itself part of an exclusive gated community. (It’s really too bad that despite all your efforts to dissuade them, the raggle-taggle members of your entourage still don’t understand that you are really an invitation-only dwelling.) But if they must insist on lolling up any time they feel like it, at least you are always prepared—with a room temperature bottle of Veuve Clicquot on your kitchen counter. That’ll teach them to turn up impromptu and empty-handed, right? A slice of pepperoni and pineapple pie might just be enough to warrant a bottle of the good stuff, nice and chilled and hidden carefully out of sight.

The hidden extras: As Kanye sang (before he decided to join the Trump train), “this shit ridiculous.” You’ve got a private peninsula, 500 feet of private shoreline, an INTERIOR boat house, five-car garage, ludicrously large swimming pool et ceters, et cetera.… And a cool $10-million discount from its 2012 listing. You’ve got bubble to burn, baby.

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