Each week, BCBusiness takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province
Address: 11040 271 Road, Fort St. John
The skinny: Five-bedroom, four-bathroom, 6,433-square-foot house on 160 acres in Fort St. John.
The bling: You have—we guarantee it—never seen such bling. For this mammoth modern monstrosity has gone all in and still found space and energy enough to fuel up the flash to previously imagined impossible levels. This place is all sparkle, all glitz, all weird, strange shapes and odd cutouts, all the time. There are diamonds in the fireplace, handpainted marble walls… Breathtaking, it most surely is. There are literally no words that can fully express the gaudy horror of seeing every single bad decorative decision corralled into the same space at the same time. It’s the most pumped-up, fully augmented plastic surgery wreaked on a property that we have ever seen.
Can you have too much of a good thing? We’re not sure, but you can surely have more than enough of a bad theme. And apparently, we’re not alone in our judgment: the house was listed in January 2017 at $6 million. Now reduced heavily, it is also being marketed without the original pictures that had a family friend dressed in full ball gown adorning different aspects of the property. And with that oh-so demure nod to taste and decency—akin to Liberace picking purple ostrich feathers instead of pink—we’re sure the luxury homebuyers will be beating a path forthwith to go be the people who live in that crazy house up north.
The hidden extras: What more do you really need? Media room, games room, wet bar, hot tub, acreage. Bling-reducing sunglasses on request.