Each week, BCBusiness takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province
Address: 3956 West 32nd Avenue, Vancouver
The skinny: Five-bedroom, four-bathroom, 3,008-square-foot house on a 4,291-square-foot lot in Dunbar
The bling: Thinking is hard. Sometimes, all you want is to walk into somewhere familiar and get exactly the same thing you’ve had a million times before. It doesn’t matter that it’s at best unimaginative and at worst evidence of a hollow soul—it’s comforting, keeps you safe inside your box and is unimpeachably ordinary. When you don’t want to risk looking like a fool by trying something different or just have no clue how to make a decision that makes you look smarter than you are, your default has to be the cookie-cutter option. When in Rome, eat at McDonald’s. Need a picture for your walls? Find a flowery print by one of those Impressionist chaps. Choosing a new house is no different. Making it to the luxury market is impressive enough; being expected to have vision, imagination and flare is surely unreasonable. So: you know you want something impressive but still bland; expensive but not shouty; stylish but still square. The answer: a McModern. The walls are white, the appliances stainless, and there are enough sharp corners and glass accents to make life with small children just that extra bit exciting. They may be mushrooming around the city, but it’s easy to see why. They are the Ikea flat-pack home decor equivalent for rich people: everyone else already has one, so nobody can be sniffy about your (non) choice.
The hidden extras: Nowhere to hide here. Boring backyard, boring front yard, boring walls and floors—basically a blank canvas for a blank life.