Big Fat Deal: $5 million for a False Creek condo fit for an athlete

Inside a two-bedroom, three-bathroom, 2137-square-foot sub-penthouse overlooking False Creek in Vancouver

Each week, BCBusiness takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province

Address: 1102 – 181 Athletes Way, Vancouver 

Price: $4,788,000

Listing: R2414013

The skinny: Two-bedroom, three-bathroom, 2137-square-foot sub-penthouse overlooking False Creek

The bling: Hello athletes! Welcome to Athletes Way. Before we look at this lovely property today, please let us know: What sort of athlete are you? Are you an amateur athlete? If so, thank you for coming, have a nice day. A member of the Canadian Women’s Olympic hockey team? Best of luck with that, we’re all behind you, goodbye now. A professional lacrosse player? Security will escort you out. Might you be a member of the CFL’s BC Lions? Well, quarterbacks only, and you’ll need a co-signer.

What’s that? You’re a Vancouver Canuck? Right this way, sir. You are our kind of athlete. Come explore this stunning condo high above False Creek. Please leave your skates at the door (unless you’re Elias Pettersson, in which case do whatever you like).

Toss that sweaty jersey in the in-suite laundry and parade your buff bod half-naked through the open floor plan, taking care not to burn any exposed areas in the fully appointed kitchen (although any minor owies can probably be dealt with via the included concierge service). With no less than three balconies, you can entertain all your friends while still keeping the Bruins and Blackhawks fans segregated. And think of the other athletes you might meet on the stairs! That woman whose husband bought her a Peloton for her birthday probably lives here.

Of course it is not necessary to be a member of the Vancouver Canucks to make a bid on this Athletes Way condo. You will however need to be a medallist in the $5,000,000 Dash. First one to the sales office wins.

Hidden extra feature: The building has an exercise centre in case you’re the type who brings your work home with you. (If you’re that Peloton woman, never mind.)