Big Fat Deal: $6 million to “downsize” in Deep Cove

Each week, BCBusiness takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province

Address: 1938 Cardinal Crescent, Deep Cove

Price: $6,288,000

Listing:  R2246643 

The skinny: Six-bedroom, five-bathroom, 4,629-square-foot house on a 14,391-square-foot lot in Deep Cove.

The bling: It comes to us all, and there’s really no need to be embarrassed. You’re getting older and the kids are ready for you to downsize and start giving them all the benefits of your hard-earned gazillions. There have been hints here and there, but them signing you up for luxury retirement homes brochures really is the last straw. It’s time to make a move before they make it for you, and here is the answer: a house cunningly disguised as a retirement facility. Honestly, from the outside this place looks like just another 1970s low-rise condo building—modest, unassuming and home to over a dozen units. Perfect for pensioners. Cunning, we say, because inside this is actually your regular over-the-top, completely renovated luxury pad, with acres of space and every mod con going. It’s a bit sneaky, we admit, but all you have to do is furnish the massive private suite with a few of the personals you “saved” from the downsizing, and when the kids come around you can pretend that’s where you live. Obviously, the yacht and the float plane moored at your private dock are communal amenities and most certainly not your personal playthings (wink wink). Just tell them your assets were not exactly as you had led them to believe when they were growing up, and in fact their parents are now living carefully within their means with nothing left over to fund their offsprings’ lavish lifestyles. They’ll be mad at you for a while, but that’s OK: when you die, they’ll inherit the whole shebang and will love you all over again. 

The hidden extras: High-end everything, mountain and water views, private dock.