Big Fat Deal: $8 million to live in an ugly blob of brown in Shaughnessy

Each week, BCBusiness takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province

Address: 3980 Cartier Street, Vancouver

Price: $7,980,000

Listing: R2215230

The skinny: Five-bedroom, four-bathroom, 5,318-square-foot house on a 9,958-square-foot lot in Vancouver

The bling: First Shaughnessy, baby! This how you know you’ve arrived in the real luxury leagues. Believe us, there is no better way to make your money walk the talk than to rain it down on this gem. Seriously, it may look like a big flat nothing, but what may appear to be just an ugly blob of brown is so much more than its lifeless exterior suggests. It’s big, it’s really expensive, and it’s on the street that screams success. Of course, what lies behind the flaccid exterior may surprise you—we, for example, were somewhat taken aback to see this property described as “renovated.” But if square rooms that run the gamut from beige to tan are not exactly your thing you can at least take refuge in the meticulously recreated vintage bathrooms: avocado, teal, and we’re not quite sure what to call the pink one—dead rose? Honestly, there’s a tub for all temperaments. Of course, if you’re truly obnoxiously loaded, today’s dormer disaster will be tomorrow’s building site. Right? Dig it up and start again. First Shaughnessy needs you.

The hidden extras: Absolutely nothing. WYSIWYG.