Big Fat Deal: $11.5 million to make a splash on Kalamalka Lake in the Okanagan

Each week, BCBusiness takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province

Address: 8200 Kalavista Drive, Coldstream

Price: $11,500,000

Listing: 10183262

The skinny: Six-bedroom, nine-bathroom (plus three powder rooms), 9,585-square-foot house on Kalamalka Lake in Coldstream

The bling: So here’s a mansion on the shores of Kalamalka Lake, south of Vernon. It’s big and impressive. Add up the full and partial bathrooms and you get a nice, round dozen. With all those sinks, toilets and bathtubs plus a big patio jacuzzi, there’s probably more water outside the lake than in (although the fishing is likely more fun in a boat). You get close to an acre of land, 170 feet of waterfront and a six-car garage. It will cost you $11.5 million.

But here’s the thing: You’ll have neighbours. It’s a house on a street with other houses. A big house, sure, but on a street. Come Saturday, Jim next door might be mowing his lawn, if he happens to be one of those obscenely rich people who get a kick out of mowing their own lawn. Is that really what you want? Neighbours bringing over pies and lasagna and extra zucchini from the garden, uninvited?

Maybe I fail to misunderstand the truly wealthy—after all, I am looking at them across a very wide financial gulf—but if you are spending 11-and-a-half million for a headquarters located somewhere outside Vernon, wouldn’t you expect to be more or less alone? Inside a palisaded fortress, perhaps, with a moat and maybe crocodiles? Robot sentries?

Well, who can tell? Maybe you got stinking rich as a Walmart greeter. Have fun with the gang!

The hidden extras: One of the bedrooms has bunk beds! Decorating tip: starving college students.