Think you’re leading well? Watch out for these common blind spots

In her new book You’re the Boss, Vancouver-based executive coach and leadership strategist Sabina Nawaz draws from her global experience advising C-level executives at Fortune 500 corporations, government agencies, non-profits and academic institutions—to challenge how we think about power, pressure and growth at the top. A former Microsoft executive turned trusted advisor to leaders at Amazon and beyond, Nawaz explores how even the most successful leaders fall into traps—like overreliance on their strengths or unmet emotional “hungers.”

In this exclusive interview with BCBusiness, Nawaz unpacks the silent struggles that persist in the C-suite and what it takes to lead with clarity, humility and impact.

In your book, you’ve identified several leadership fallacies—like the “Superhero Syndrome” and the “Sole Provider” trap. What are some of the most common ones you see senior leaders fall into, and why do you think they persist even at the highest levels?

The “Singular Story” is a trap that entangles many managers. In fact, the more senior they are, the more susceptible managers become to this power gap.  When a senior manager looks at a challenge, jumps to a conclusion based on their own experience and is oblivious to other options, the Singular Story trap is sprung.  This power gap trap is very persistent because employees don’t like to provide contrary or critical feedback upward. So, managers may not realize they’re chasing the wrong idea until it’s too late.

I title another trap “Unmet Hungers.” Managers bring baggage to work with them—most of us do. Unmet hungers for accolades, for relevance, for being seen as the smartest person in the room or a hero or a martyr, can wreak havoc with the best intentions to manage well. A hunger to simply be liked on the personal level can derail a boss by keeping them from providing critical feedback. It is not uncommon for human beings to want their unfulfilled needs to be met in the workplace.

These are two of the common traps that can create a culture where the manager is unaware of her missteps and employees are unclear about how they’re actually performing.

What’s one underrated challenge senior leaders face that often goes unspoken?

Grouchiness.

We like to say that power corrupts. But that’s not true. Pressure corrupts. Pressure doesn’t just stress us out; it changes how we act. Left untended, pressure converts our good intentions into destructive habits. The higher we go, the more pressure we’re under. We raise our voices, provide harsher criticism and send team members scuttling with their own pressure gauges redlining. And when a manager treats employees poorly, employees get back at their bosses by playing video games on the job or even deliberately inserting mistakes into their work.

Now enter power. Power separates. Power divides. Power doesn’t just elevate; it changes how others see us and how we see other people. It shifts the dynamics in the room making others less willing to be fully honest with us. Why? Because people want things—approval, recommendations, raises, promotions—from those in power.

When managers act out under pressure, no one is willing to tell them about the harmful effect it has on them because nobody wants to tell the person in power what they don’t want to hear.

So, we have managers who are unaware of their impact or, worse, the harm they’re inflicting—and we have employees who are unwilling to speak up.

You’ve worked with leaders at companies like Microsoft and Amazon—what separates those who grow with the company from those who tend to plateau?

Those who have the humility to unlearn. Continual growth of a company or an individual means knowing when you build on an established formula for success, and when it’s time to relinquish old recipes and start from scratch.

Learning anew is hard, especially if you’re already successful. Sometimes the thing you need to set aside is the very thing that made you successful and was likely your idea. A client of mine calls these moments YAFGOs–Yet Another F’ing Growth Opportunity!

How has your own view of leadership changed over the last decade? What do you believe now that you didn’t ten years ago?

During introductions at my leadership workshops, I often ask participants to answer the question: “What am I paid to do?” Most responses are what you would expect: delight customers, build great products, inspire and care for my team. But one executive, the co-founder of a technology company said he was paid to do less. There’s no paucity of ways in which executives and senior managers can be more effective, delighting customers, building great products and inspiring and caring for their teams. But given the pressures that come with the mantle of responsibility and authority, the idea of doing less is not only appealing but vitally important.

For example, Marissa is the head of marketing for an advertising firm. During a recent coaching session she said, “Sabina, I’m flummoxed! Because of my daughter’s college applications and us discovering her learning challenges, I have had no choice but to only work at about 80 percent instead of my usual 150 percent. What I don’t get is now my manager thinks I’m showing up more strategically, my team seems happier and more productive and one of my peers who wasn’t very cooperative is suddenly much more willing to talk with me. I don’t get it. How can working less seem to have a bigger impact?”

Doing less means you have successfully grown the capabilities of others; you allow them to shine and don’t hog the limelight yourself. You’re focused on what you’re uniquely qualified to do rather than holding on to responsibilities from previous roles.

If you were talking to someone who just got promoted into a senior leadership role today, what’s the first thing you’d ask them to let go of?

I would ask them to let go of how they use their strengths. Getting promoted is sometimes the riskiest time in your career. The very strengths that propel you to your promoted role might be viewed a lot less charitably by the necks craning up. Let’s say you’re great at attention to detail; in your elevated role this can come across as micromanagement. Great at being strategic? Now others consider you manipulative. What about calm and collected under pressure? People suddenly think you’re uninterested, aloof, lacking passion. You haven’t changed but your position has.

Instead of employing strengths in a business-as-usual manner, reflect on how those strengths will be viewed by those who don’t know you well and who are less senior than you. How would a direct report react? What about a skip level employee, a new employee on your team or a skip level of one of your peers? Now see if there’s a way to still use your strengths and address these constituents’ concerns. Let’s say you’re very focused and they see you as unapproachable. Set aside focused work time where you’ve set your online status to do not disturb or are working away from the office. Then set up time where you are accessible. By combining your strengths with the needs of those on your team, you’re able to both do your best work and allow them to do theirs.

Can you share a moment from your coaching work when a leader had a breakthrough—where they realized they were getting in their own way? What changed for them after that realization?

Bill was an “idea bunny” dreaming up more ways to improve his biotech company before breakfast than there are tea leaves in a cup. When Bill was hired in an economically tight market, his ideating superpower was much needed. Bill’s energy was just as incandescent as his enthusiasm for innovative thinking. But five years after a great turnaround, his team was struggling with burnout. With its numbers healthy, the company needed less turnaround drama and more stabilization and consistency. Bill was surprised when I shared feedback from his team. They never knew whether to pursue his ideas fully or wait until his next inspiration struck. They felt they had to be responsive even on the weekends whenever Bill wanted to chat about a cool, new thought. Bill was what I call an innocent saboteur. He meant well but left a trail of collateral damage. He realized that the very things that had created a successful turnaround were now in danger of tanking productivity. Bill started practicing two hours a week of what I call “Blank Space,” where he would unplug and step back to assess the big picture. This improved his perspective and discernment about which ideas were worth sharing with his team. Bill was also able to assess the feasibility of implementing additional initiatives on top of his team’s other priorities. Freneticism gave way to moderation, clarity and realistic expectations.

Is there a popular leadership quote or mantra you hear all the time that actually does more harm than good? What would you replace it with?

Treat others the way you want to be treated. Replacement: Treat others the way they want to be treated. Each person is different. What feels fulfilling to one might be frustrating to another. Managers need to learn what makes each of their direct reports tick and treat them the way they want to be treated. When I ran Microsoft’s management development group, I was once surprised to learn that “Jake,” a direct report who was an excellent public speaker and trainer, absolutely hated being acknowledged publicly for his accomplishments. It was only by asking him directly how he liked to be recognized that I learned this about him.