Campbell River
Credit: Campbell River on Twitter

Campbell River might not be the Salmon Capital of the World, but it's a good place to grow your business. 

We assess how different people/things and, of course, businesses fared this week

In the midst of a federal election that has seemingly swept up everyone and everything in its midst, some provincial manoeuvring has gone a tad under the radar.

We’re, of course, to blame for that as well, and we will continue the trend of writing probably pointless musings about the campaign until it mercifully ends itself on October 21.

And that includes this column as well. But hey, we’ll also give you a healthy dose of provincial goodness, because someone’s gotta hold that other government in check.

We solemnly accept this responsibility.

Here’s what made the grade (and what didn’t) this week.

The City of Campbell River

Grade: A

The Salmon Capital of the World (or is it???) announced the launch of a tech competition with $200,000 in prizes.

It’s a great venture for a city seeking to attract young residents. And expect competition to be somewhat fierce. Anyone assuming it’ll be like shooting fish in a barrel might have another thing coming.

Happipad

Grade: A

The Kelowna-based online rental marketplace is one of three winners of Staples’ This is How I Grow My Business contest.

The local company will receive $20,000 in technology and business services from Staples, as well as mentorship from Dragon’s Den judge Joe Mimran.

That was easy.

Uber Eats

Grade: A–

While its embattled older brother struggles to barge its way into B.C., Uber Eats announced that its Pickup option is now available throughout Metro Vancouver. 

So you can feel a bit better about lazily ordering food in that you get the exercise that comes with walking to and from the car.

The City of Surrey

Grade: B+

The B.C. government announced an intention to promote Surrey as a second Lower Mainland downtown, and to build an innovation corridor that will create jobs and opportunity for people in the Fraser Valley.

“It signals, especially to certain categories of investors and equity funds, that the government is supporting this in a big way,” said Minister of Jobs, Trade and Technology Bruce Ralston.

According to reports (kidding, I completely made this up), the second downtown will also feature the Granville Strip Deux, a classy take on Vancouver’s notorious street where you’ll be able to actually get edible pizza.

The Massey _____

Grade: C+

The BC NDP and some municipal leaders came together to make a formal proposal for the next iteration of the Massey crossing. And, unsurprisingly, the opposition BC Liberals think it’s shit.

Liberal leader Andrew Wilkinson even called it a “sad day for British Columbia,” which we’re sure isn’t an overstatement in the slightest.

For the record, the officials decided on an “eight-lane immersed-tube tunnel” as the preferred option. So yeah, any hopes of not losing radio connection for those 50 seconds are very much gone.

Libraries

Grade: C–

The Union of BC Municipalities convention is pretty wild. Last week, a resolution was passed at the convention calling on the province to provide $20 million in annual funding to libraries, a $6-million increase from the status quo. 

Not that it’s not needed, but pretty sweet that mayors can roll into this thing and just say, We want the province to give more money to this thing! and it be a formal resolution that the province has to respond to.

(The province hasn’t, yet, just FYI.)

We can’t wait until next year, when we’ll be sure to show up at the UBCM gathering with our list of demands.

“Yes, so we’ll need all ramen places to be open 24 hours. And a statue of Pavel Bure, please.”

Campaign scandals

Grade: D

Funny how all this stuff is coming out right in the middle of the election campaign, eh?

Here’s an informal but absolutely correct ranking of the “scandals” that have plagued the federal leaders thus far, from lightest to heaviest.

5. Andrew Scheer’s U.S. citizenship

4. Elizabeth May’s non-compostable drink container

3. Maxime Bernier’s continued existence

2. Andrew Scheer’s insurance fraud

1. Justin Trudeau’s obsession with blackface/brownface 

Meanwhile, Jagmeet Singh just goes about his business.

Frats

Grade: F

This is sad.

But if you thought frats were a good thing at any point in your life, then maybe it’s good this happened.