Big Fat Deal: $5.3 million to reward the laziest real estate listing in Vancouver

BCBusiness takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province

Address: 5776 Angus Drive

Price: $5,299,000

Listing: R2761762

The skinny: Four-bedroom, three-bathroom, 3,909 sq ft house on 9,017 sq ft in Vancouver’s Kerrisdale neighbourhood.

The bling: First, an admission. I’m not one for the fancy, altered and extremely chic-looking photos that often adorn real estate ads. They’re showy. They always seem to be taken at night. But at the very least, they show some effort.

Name me another profession where you can make the amount of money realtors make while undergoing that same amount of education. The list is short. And the good realtors work their asses off to separate themselves.

But in a market like Vancouver’s, a cynic might say that real estate agents have, at least in the last several years, just had to prop up an open house sign and then act as glorified bouncers. It’s hard to argue against that when you get a listing like the above.

The photos are best described as “taken with a 2007 Motorola Razr.” The photographer (although that term is a stretch in this case) appears to have just walked into some rooms, held their phone head high and clicked the camera button a few times. The result is a bunch of unflattering photos taken from a bad angle—for all you Instagram BFs, take these on an early date and there will not be a next one.

And then, of course, there’s the writeup: “Located in high-end area of South Granville. Property is surrounded by all kinds of luxurious houses and is taking a great lot for building a dreamed house. Flat rectangular lot with a huge updated house is perfect for holding now and building later.”

Besides the grammatical atrocities being committed here it’s no wonder that the photos are so bad. The realtor in question is just trying to sell off an investment. That’s it, that’s all. Well, good luck pal, looks like you’re doing a great job—the house has only sat on the market for 154 days.

The hidden extras: There’s a renovated kitchen and what looks to be a big garage. But it’s hard to tell because, again, the photos.