Big Fat Deal: $5 million to see the white in South Vancouver

BCBusiness takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province

Address: 1581 West 58th Avenue 

Price: $4,990,000 

Listing: R2751788 

The skinny: Five-bedroom, seven-bathroom, 3, 918 sq ft house on 5600 sq ft on South Granville in Vancouver 

The bling: You’d be excused for needing a few moments to adjust your eyes as you walk into this palace of white. The ceilings, the floors, the cabinets, the appliances are all whiter than seeing your friend walk into the bar and saying “I guess they just let anyone walk in here these days!” Thankfully, the colour scheme switches up a little bit here and there, like the brown floors in a couple different rooms and the completely authentic den that features two brown chairs, a brown table and a splattered rug in the same whiteness that envelops the rest of the house. And don’t worry, there’s a lighter brown desk in the office, along with a piece of artwork that is really doing its very best to add the slightest bit of colour to the Arctic canvas.  

There’s also a massive theatre room in which, for some reason, the only seating options are two chairs facing each other. As far as the location the house is in, the listing seems happy to straight up lie to the face of any prospective buyers. Five minutes to Richmond? Yeah, okay. Ten minutes to downtown? On the quietest of quiet days… maybe? One route to UBC? Well, sure, that’s true of most places in the city.  

“Super convenient location”? Guess it depends on who you are. But hey, one positive, it won’t be hard to look on the bright side. In fact, it will be impossible not to.  

The hidden extras: Three-car garage and a garden area in the backyard.