How to Prep for Vacation

Illustration: Graham Roumieu

A step-by-step guide for leaving the office

1. Start taking midday siestas to get your body in vacation mode.
2. Forget impending deadlines; just leave an exhaustive to-do list for the people still around.
3. Leave a detailed out-of-office email message, including the colour of Speedo you’ll be donning on the beach.
4. Don’t clear your old lunches from the office fridge—people love leftovers.
5. Freeze your cellphone in a block of ice to avoid the temptation of staying connected.
6. In order to avoid jealousy and hurt morale, don’t tell your colleagues about holiday plans; just disappear into the night.