Big Fat Deal: $5 million for a Tuscan castle by the sea on Vancouver Island

Inside a two-bedroom, three-bathroom, 5,438-square-foot mansion on an 11,110-square-foot waterfront property in Sidney, B.C.

Each week, BCBusiness takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province

Address: 10493 Allbay Road, Sidney

Price: $4,900,000

Listing: 415618

The skinny: Three-bedroom, three-bathroom, 5,438-square-foot mansion on an 11,110-square-foot waterfront property

The bling: Tuscany by the sea, they call it. Well, medieval Tuscany was a fractious kind of place, and it was often necessary to repel the neighbours from behind stone ramparts, so sure, it fits. It’s a castle, all right. Tankards of mead may be hoisted in front of the massive stone fireplace (one of seven!).

The 11,110-square-foot lot even has its own sandy beach, which you can use for a relaxing swim on days when Viking longboats are not attacking. The property is described as “fully fenced and gated,” although of course if the neighbours roll up with trebuchets there are no guarantees.

The listing description enthuses: “…the specifications of this home are astounding, with a replacement cost well over $7M!” Presumably then you could take the whole thing apart and sell the pieces on Kijiji for a big profit. Selling the stone chimneys as a set might reduce your margins a little. Also, listing each stone individually is going to be a pain. Volume discounts are your friend here. (There’s a guitar visible in one of the photos. That ought to get you a few bucks.)

It’s a two-level pile, but the listing describes it as “stepless.” There is a large elevator and, who knows, maybe a fireman’s pole, although one isn’t shown. Feel free to fashion your own rope ladder, though. According to the listing, the entire place has been designed with accessibility in mind. Then again, there are all those gates and fences suggesting inaccessibility, but you know what they mean. Accessibility for you—death to invaders!

Hidden extra features: There is both a sauna and a patio hot tub, perfect after a day of slaughtering your enemies on the field of battle. Alternatively, you could just sell them off on Craigslist.